Episode 16: Gabrielle Bosché | Finding Your Purpose

Well, we just got done recording an amazing episode with Gabrielle, who's here with us today, and I am excited to share this episode with you. She is one of the most booked millennial speakers in the world, a two time TEDx presenter. She's dubbed the next generation of motivators by Tom Ziegler. She's a best selling author and co CEO of The Purpose Company.

Her work is endorsed by leaders like Brian Tracy, Lewis Howes, and Chicken in the Soup cofounder Mark Victor Hansen. Gabrielle's worked with presidential campaigns, the US Navy and Air Force, and top global brands. She's been featured in Success, NPR, SiriusXM, Bloomberg Radio, and more. Her TEDx talk inspires audiences to align their lives with purpose, leadership, and generational impact.

So without further ado, check out this episode with Gabby. Welcome back to the Power Up Your Life podcast. I'm Kelly Resendez.

And I'm Mandy McAllister.

And we are so, so thrilled to bring Gab, to our audience today. She's somebody I admire. She's spoken at our GoBundance women's events with raving reviews and fans. So we're just so excited to have you here, but I'd love to share have you just share a little bit with our audience about your journey.

I love it. Well, thank you so much for having me. I love being a part of the fam, and it is such an honor to get to hang out with you guys and your audience. But, yeah, my name is Gab, long version Gabrielle. Everyone just ends up calling me Gab, and I am this kinda accidental expert in purpose. It's not something that I went to school for. In fact, I studied, religion and political science in undergrad. So, like, the two things you're not supposed to talk about at Thanksgiving dinner, I just doubled up.

But like many people, I went through a journey of trying to figure out what's next. And I, you know, read all the books, went to the expensive conferences, traveled through Europe, you know, moved across state lines thinking if I change my location, then somehow I'm gonna find more clarity. But at the end of that journey of really trying to discover what's next for about a decade, I realized that everything came down to purpose.

And so really discovering how could I find purpose for myself, which I did. And then I really determined that I had a responsibility to help other people find their purpose because I believe your story is your authority. The thing that you have gone through actually gives you permission to be able to help other people as well. And so many people from the outside looking in said, oh my gosh, Gabb. How have you had so much clarity? How how how have you had so much success? How have you been able to push through some really challenging perspectives? And and it really came down to these four step processes that we now teach at the purpose company of how do you not only find your purpose, but how do you use it to help other people?

Because I think a lot of the conversations around purpose are really self focused. It's how do you feel and and and what's fulfilling to you, which is important. But the way that we approach purpose is that purpose is the best of what you have to help other people. And when you discover that the best of what you have to help other people is so oftentimes on the other side of the hardest things we've ever gone through, it not only gives purpose to the pain, but it creates this permission inside of you that you go from, maybe I could do this to I should to I must. And so that's what I get to do and help people with every day. Oh, my goodness. I love it. And we're from, like, the same area and we're able to to connect, which I'm so grateful for.

So I'm gonna ask you this question because I just saw this on a short today. Somebody that was on Jay Shetty's podcast, I think that's who it was, said, you know, tell me your biggest you know, the worst career advice you've ever gotten and the best. And the guy said the worst was follow your passion Yeah. And the best was follow your talent.

And so you're bringing in purpose. Like, how do you kinda unpack the difference between those three things? Because I think a lot of people are like,

I'm passionate about this, but then they also wanna make a lot of money Yep. Or whatnot. Like, unpack that a little bit more. Or they're passionately bad. I mean, how many times have you met people who are like, I wanna get into, you know, dancing or singing or some sort of creative art and that's their passion, but that's not where their skill set lies.

And, and I couldn't agree more. So there. Passion, if you look at the dictionary definition of passion, which is so bananas, but the dictionary definition of passion is a barely controllable emotion. And yet that's the number one piece of advice that we're giving the next generation is follow your barely controllable emotion. And I know I did. I mean, I tried to start coffee carts and start tried to start online courses. And I mean, you you pick it. I tried it because I was following that very well intentioned but very crappy advice of follow your passion.

Purpose is the best of what you have to help other people. It is that that ability to to execute with excellence. I think that's what's really important is that you identify what is that best of what you have, and talent is part of that.

And so one of the things that we teach in your journey of finding your purpose is what we call your natural advantage. So natural advantage is different than natural talent. Natural talent is an early proficiency for something. So you might have a natural talent to be athletic or to argue or to take leadership or to be conversationalist or funny. That's a natural talent. It's an early proficiency. Your natural advantage is the role you tend to play in life and work. So when you're in a group of people, you tend to be the one who organizes people and things. You might be an overseer or in a group you're always in consuming information so you can teach other people. You might be a teacher.

And so helping people, we've helped over 3,000 people through our purpose factor assessment find their purpose. And we get notes from people every single time on our Instagram or our email of people being like, I had no idea. It's like, finally, I feel like I have a mirror to truly see who I am. And I think and I know you guys do this so beautifully at GoBundance is giving people words to identify who they are and how they fit in the world. Helping people feel seen, I believe, is the best gift as a leader we can give someone.

Oh, I could not agree with you more. It's it's you can't see the forest through the trees, you know? Like, you you end up so in something, your life, your business, whatever that is, that you can't really see, what's next. So that that purpose assessment has been a a real game changer.

You know, one thing that you have said, previously is this idea of, you know, I'm I'm not passionate. I'm convicted. This this idea of all in conviction and in a lot of conversations Kelly and I have been having back and forth, we're talking about yeah. We talk about looking for what I I just I need to decide what I'm convicted about. And I I think that that is my approach for how I'm getting unstuck with some of the things that I'm dealing with.

So I I'm curious, you know, what advice you would give because we're largely entrepreneurs in the group that are listening here. What, what's some advice when you feel stuck? How do you get yourself unstuck?

Yeah. So the the the truth behind conviction is the the definition that we take to it is the unreasonable certainty that what I'm doing is right and worth it. The unreasonable certainty that what I'm doing is right and worth it. And so when you approach this idea of conviction is, do I have unreasonable certainty? Is this the thing I must do? If you don't have certainty, you shouldn't do it.

And I think that that's a big reason why a lot of people experience things like imposter syndrome. A lot of comparison comes down to not having that certainty. And the only way we get certainty is to make sure it's aligned with our purpose. If it's aligned with our purpose, you must do it. It is absolutely that that, conviction moment for you. If it's not, then we need might need to make some adjustments.

The next part of it is, is it right? Is it something that I'm supposed to be doing? Am I best equipped to do this? And then worth it, worth it comes down to two things. Is there pain and is there clarity?

We will do so many things to get out of pain. Each of you guys know this is is that we're really, as humans, inspired by pain or pleasure. And and I would love to have the the carrot be the thing that inspires most people to push through and to to achieve and all of that. But being in the personal development space for over eighteen years at this point, I've learned that it really is the pain that pushes people. It's the other side of the divorce that we realize we need to get the self help. It's on the other side of the diagnose that's that we realize we need to take care of ourselves. It's on the other side of of bankruptcy or financial frustration that we realized that we needed to put some of these things in place. And so pain is such a beautiful teacher.

And so if we as leaders say we've got someone on our team and they're not performing to their best, what's their conviction like? It means that they may not have pain as in they don't know the cost of inaction, or they don't have clarity. They don't know why it's worth it. They don't know why they should push through the 28 sales calls to finally get that closed deal. They don't know why they should, you know, manage their time better so that they can be a top performer. So our job as leaders, whatever that looks like, whoever it is that we're influencing, comes down to how do we help first ourselves get that pain and clarity and then give that as a gift to those that we lead.

Oh my gosh. So amazing. I mean, in in so many ways we can go with that, but I wanna make sure that we get really deep too with our audience because you're one of the most conscious, you know, women, you know, female leaders that I know and you're, you know, let's be honest, really young. Right? Like, so I can't imagine that you've got a plethora of people your age that are around, you know, your area.

Like, how have you cultivated the right environment for yourself to not feel like you're too much? Because I think for our listeners, most of us have a range of feeling not enough or too much. And I would probably guess you you you kinda falter on the too much side. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Well, thank you for saying that I'm young. It's all of the Botox. Right? So we're we're all doing our best to reverse reverse, the the signs of aging here. Everything's just being, like, lifted up, and we're trying to to stay as young as possible or or to look as young as we feel, I should say.

But, yes, I I think this is something I was reflecting on actually the other day, when I was just really, like, showing gratitude towards my younger self and having a conversation with with that 12 year old version of me. That's one of my favorite questions I love to ask people when I'm interviewing them is what would the 12 year old version of you think about what you're doing right now? And a 12 year old version of me had big buck teeth and crazy red hair and giant Coke bottle glasses. And she just was, like, living life and, like, feral outside and, like, just just loving life and doing amazing things. I actually started writing my first book at 12.

And so if I were to have that conversation with her, I'd say everything turned out how we wanted it to. You've got the community that you wanted. I always wanted to feel I really always wanted to fit in. I was very heavily bullied as a child. I've been able to create beautiful community and be able to provide for my family in a way that I never thought was possible. I have an amazing partner in my husband that I always wanted to have that kind of that kind of trust and intimacy in a relationship. I have an incredible team of people around me, and I always felt really lonely.

And that really is because of the consciousness of creating my reality, of realizing that my energy is something I must protect. So the most important thing for me is protecting my energy. So that means paying attention to at the end of any dinner, I might go out with friends. I'm doing an energy check. Do I feel more energized or more depleted? If depleted, it means that there wasn't an energy exchange, that maybe I was giving more, maybe there was a negativity in that relationship or that conversation, and so I wanna be conscious to that. So energy exchange is really important to me.

The next thing is, am I running alongside other people? Am I having to not be honest about where I'm at in conversations? Each of you probably had that where you're catching up with friends or family members, and you have to dim your light a little bit because you don't want them to, feel less or be jealous or be triggered. And so I just don't have people in my life that I can't tell everything to.

And so that's meant that I've I've I've winnowed my circle quite a bit, but that's also too been because I don't wanna show up in relationships less than. And so that's meant I've had some conversations with others. I've I've I've created some beautiful boundaries, and and I'm really, really pleased with the circle of people that I have, whether it's my team or the people in my family I stay very close to and my friends because we're able to call each other up with the highest highs and say this, I just closed this huge deal and it's amazing. And our lowest lows, like, this is really freaking hard. Like, whose idea was this to start a business? Like, this is a horrible idea. Right?

And and I've been really intentional about creating that group, and I'm very, very pleased of where I'm at today, but it's taken, as each of you guys know, intentionality, patience, and grace. Grace for yourself and grace for other people too.

I I love that, and I absolutely love that idea of talking to the 12 year old you. You know? And you've had such tremendous success at at such a young age. Right?

But I what got you here might not get you there. I'm curious if we could talk to the 60 year old version of Gab. What would she tell you that you should be working on put putting your attention and and time towards? What what does she tell you?

Oh my gosh. I love that because that's my second favorite exercise is I'll talk to future me and have her give me advice. Because when you're in different seasons, whenever I'm even looking for mentors, I'm always asking what season are they in. Are they in this season of giving as in they're in those legacy years that they don't necessarily need something from you, but they wanna give. Then there's other mentors that are running alongside, and it's an energy exchange. It's an information exchange where I'm saying this is my best practice. What's your best practice? So that's more of a side by side mentor. And then there are those younger mentors, people who are are younger than you. I've got people on my team who are in their early twenties who they're teaching me things, and so that's a a different kind of energy exchange and mentorship.

And so, yes, I have conversations with 60 and 75 year old Gab all the time, and and she's creating almost like a a a gift and a perspective that, I just wouldn't necessarily have without it. And, and so sometimes those conversations are informed by conversations I have with mentors. Brian and I have a a board of advisors for our marriage. And so when we got married, we actually created a board of advisors of people in different types of relationships where maybe they work together. Maybe one person stays at home. Some have children, some don't. So that way, we could get that kind of wisdom because we we weren't so so proud to think that we had it all altogether.

I come from a broken home, and and I knew that if I was gonna be successful, I'm really big into templates. And so I said, if I use a template to build my company, why wouldn't I use a template to build my marriage? And so I'm having that conversation with with, with older version of Gab all the time, and here's what she's saying. She's saying, you're doing great. There's that encouragement of of of you're doing great, and, and you're exactly where you need to be. She's also to reminding me that relationships are the most important thing.

I was just reading, a book by Erwin McManus last night and him and this quote that really stood out to me is he said the most expensive lessons we learn will not cost us money. They'll cost us people. And I've been meditating on that today of really looking at, am I are there decisions I'm making as in a as a business owner, as a CEO that could cost me relationships? And, and is it is that worth it?

And so those are just some of the conversations that I'm constantly having with future me to give me that that gift and that perspective as 36 year old Gab right now is I really wanna honor the time that I have because I know when I'm in my sixties and seventies, I'm gonna wish for just one more day of feeling how I feel and being in the situation that I'm in. No. That's so beautiful. So beautiful.

I wanna dig deep right now and ask you a question because I it it comes up a lot especially in in, you know, the the place of big impact. Mhmm. So some some impact can be driven from ego and a need to really feel whether it's significant or important versus just like, hey, I just wanna be in contribution and I also end up making a a powerful business. Like, do you think it matters?

Because I can tell you for myself, it's been it's been a challenge. I for whatever reason, from a young age, I was just super significance driven. I was pretty attention seeking. So I've spent a lot of my personal growth in trying to get away from that. Right? Yep.

But then at the same time, I wanna make a big impact because I can see the same thing that you do. People are suffering. They need wisdom. We need to transcend the pain. How do you kinda balance that ego and then really what I would say doing God's work? Yeah. No. It's so good. It's,

you know, I'm I'm a Christian, and one of the kind of core foundations that have really helped influence what's driven me is there's this there's this verse in the Bible where where the apostle Paul is saying, he's talking about people preaching the gospel in a way that isn't necessarily beneficial. And at the end of it, it's so interesting. It's really impacted me. He says, but no matter what, the gospel is being preached. And so in that verse that's really impacted me where he said, you know, whether it was for the right reasons or the wrong reasons, a good thing is still happening.

And, and I think that's an interesting perspective to take because I believe I don't see ego as bad or as good. I see it as something that's part of who we are. Ego is the is the need to be seen, and we're all created to be seen, and we're all created to see other people.

And so I can look back at my journey and realize that in some instances, when I was maybe writing my first book at 17, that was a desire to feel seen. I don't think I was so, you know, I was so selfless in my 17 year old state thinking I wanna leave a legacy. I was like, I wanna feel like my life matters. And I was I was escaping, substance abuse in my house and and trying to just, like, feel like my life mattered and try to feel control. So so in that instance, even though my ego is probably driving the the ship, at the end of the day, a good thing was still being done.

And then I see other seasons of my life where I was, you know, very selfless, and it was like, I don't really need to have my name on anything. I just wanna be in the background. I wanna push my team forward, and that was also too a beautiful thing.

And so I think that giving yourself grace and realizing that ego isn't isn't a good or a bad thing. It's not you in front of someone else. I think it's some seasons we do need to feel seen. Sometimes we're discouraged, and we're like, am I doing the right thing? Am I crazy? Whose idea was this? Like, that discouragement that happens so oftentimes as entrepreneurs.

I think in those instances, if you're feeling discouraged, you need to be in a season of feeling seen. You need to look at the testimonials of past clients who are saying thank you so much, Mandy. You changed my life. Kelly, because you did that thing, you're you you truly changed the trajectory of my business. That's not ego. That's a gift.

And so so being able to see sometimes that that feeling seen as encouragement. Sometimes that feeling seen as is validation. Sometimes that feeling seen is is, is the savior that you need to pull you out of the doubt demons that I think as entrepreneurs, especially as women entrepreneurs, I think can really keep us super stuck.

Oh, I love I the the thing that hits me the hardest there, it's the removal of shame. Yeah. You know? The the good thing is happening. You don't assign shame to that you have an ego. You have an ego because you're human. You need to be seen because you're human. There is no need to feel shame about it. I absolutely love that wisdom. Thank you for that, Gab.

You know, I one thing that, you know, most of our listeners have in common, we're we're entrepreneurs, and we're, you know, in this season of uncertainty, just systemic uncertainty. I'm I'm very curious about, you know, how how do you align conviction and purpose proactively to deal with all of this uncertainty that surrounds us, especially as entrepreneurs now? Yeah.

I think whenever there's uncertainty, it's looking at where does your certainty come from. So I cannot control the economy. I can't necessarily control my clients' outcomes. I can't control, the the close rates necessarily on my team, but I can control how I react. And so there's a calmness and feeling in control of I will know what to do. Even if I don't know what to do, I will figure out what to do.

And that's that power of agency that I think is can't really be taught, but it can be caught, where you start to recognize that you have the ability no matter whatever it is that comes at you, that you're gonna figure it out. And I think COVID taught a lot of people that is the power of pivot. And so I think that there's a big there's a a big resurgence of people really having that agency and that confidence of no matter what I know what's gonna happen, I can be in control of it.

And so sometimes life will happen. Right? So I'm not gonna pretend like as a as a business owner, everything's like, you know, horse like, horseshoes and rainbows and perfect. Sometimes, like, real crap is hitting the fan and you're like like, oh my gosh. This is a big deal or or, you know, we could, you know, really lose a lot of money on this, and and I'm on the forefront. I'm doing a lot of the deal making. I was just doing that this morning.

And and when you're in that zone, you have to have if if you lose something, I give myself thirty seconds to be pissed. I'm like mad, upset, cussing out the wall, whatever it is. Right? Like, I love Jesus, but I cuss a little. Like, that that I will let myself have all of the emotions for thirty seconds. Mhmm. And then I mentally put it in a little wooden box. I just go through this mental picture. I put it in a wooden box and I just seal it and I go, that's not giving me life anymore. Mhmm. But I let myself have that emotion. So I no longer am carrying the weight of it, but I'm gonna put it in this box and I'm gonna just put it away. And it just in my mind, I have in my closet, my mental closet, all of these boxes of emotions. And and so that helps me get off of me and inch back into problem solving mode.

And at that point, I'm calm, cool, and collected. I'm, like, in control. I'm happy again as well because, like, let's be honest. If there's no joy in the journey, what are we doing this for? Like, love this. It life is too short, and it's all too hard. Like, let's have some fun in this freaking thing. Right? And so I just need to get back into that moment and just be back in my joy zone, and then I am empowered.

And then, you know what's so crazy? It's so many times when that happens, the deal ends up closing or the thing ends up being resolved because my frequency is different and I'm no longer in reactive. Like, my mentors growing up used to always say scared money don't make money. And that has been such a gift. Anytime I've been in a negative, needy mindset, I never will close the deal. But when I'm in, an abundance, an excited, a joyful state, the opportunities closes so much easier than I ever thought imaginable.

I love it. Well, Gab, you have brought so much wisdom to the table. We can't even I couldn't even imagine to go back through it all. But I know that our listeners are gonna wanna learn more about finding their purpose and working with it as well. How do they get a hold of you, take that test, all of that?

Yes. They have got to take the purpose factor assessment. So it takes about twenty minutes to find your exact purpose and gives you a 49 page document on you, how you're most fulfilled, your core values, and what to do next. So they can check it out. I'm gonna give them a $20 discount. So you just go to purposetest.com. So you can get $20 off. Just go to purposetest.com and, and find your exact purpose.

Awesome. Well, we will make sure that that is in the show notes for you people who are driving here. Gab, this was such an incredible episode. Thank you for your wisdom and your bright light that you just shine everywhere.

If you have enjoyed this episode, make sure you share it with someone who needs this impact from our girl, Gab. Make sure you subscribe to the Power of Your Life podcast. If you wanna know more about GoBundance Women, make sure you go to gobundancewomen.com.

We will see you on the next one. Thanks, guys. Thank you, guys. Bye.