The world is a fast-paced place, with media inundation and competing ideas and opposing belief systems. It’s easy to become emotionally charged when something challenges the way you think or live, or feel disappointment and anger when situations aren’t handled the way you expect and communication is unclear. It can be so hard to let go, but the more you hold onto, the heavier it feels and the harder it is to move through life. 

As women especially, we’re expected to fill so many performative roles to high standards that we often are our own worst critics when things go awry—that’s why it’s imperative that we create space and allow ourselves to let go so we can make room for the abundance of greatness we deserve. 

Think about all of the birthday or holiday gifts you’ve received in life, whether heartfelt and meaningful for something that just collects dust. If you held onto everything forever, it would likely be hard to move around your space, and you might not enjoy being in your own space at all. 

Holding onto every little thing that irks or upsets you will have this effect, but inside your own mind. It will feel harder to think clearly or see forward, create meaningful goals or feel fulfilled and proud of your accomplishments. 

Whether in business or home life, practicing letting things go so they don’t build up and overload you throughout time so you feel lighter, more free, and maybe even achieve peace of mind. 

 

Identify, Feel, Accept 

Start with identifying how you feel. Self-awareness is a good first step. Acknowledging emotions and triggers—such as anger, resentment, anxiety, or sadness—will help you begin surrendering to your emotional experience and be able to observe the impact of the event or circumstances that led you to feel this way. 

Remember to question yourself about the things that trigger you—are these emotions that belong to you now, or emotions that belong to a past version of you who’s still learning to heal? 

Give yourself permission to feel what you need to without judgement. Remind yourself you are safe to feel whatever you feel in your own body. Emotions aren’t necessarily bad or good, they’re natural! Even allowing yourself an allotted amount of time to think about something before moving on to other tasks and continuing throughout the day can be helpful. 

If something’s really nagging at you, taking a moment to write it down in your notes app or a journal might help you feel like you’ve released some of the emotion so you can better move on with the day and still be productive. Remember that it isn’t wrong to be upset, or angry, or anxious. The goal is to accept that these feelings may occur and learn how to manage them so that you can release any resentment or bitterness instead of internalizing it or projecting it onto others. 

Make sure you practice accepting your past and the reality of your present. Both are circumstances that cannot be changed, but you can focus on controlling how you react in the future when life doesn’t go your way. Accepting does not mean giving it, but rather, understanding. 

 

Shift Your Focus

Once you’ve identified what you feel, allowed yourself to feel without judgement and accepted what happened, you can start shifting energy toward things you can control like your own thoughts and emotions. 

You can’t control other people, and you’ll have to accept that they’re going to do whatever they’re going to do! It’s natural to disagree with others, or to hold varying beliefs, whether political, religious, social, economic or other. It is okay and normal to dislike someone else’s opinion, but the beauty of an opinion is that you are allowed to have your own and to live your own truth. 

How someone else chooses to react toward you or a given situation is on them, and how you choose to react is on you. This might mean releasing any bitterness you feel and training yourself to stop people pleasing. Other people’s perceptions of you are not in your control and if you spend your time catering to how everyone else thinks about you, you might lose yourself in the process. Focus on your relationship with you and the way you view yourself.  

A good way to begin this is by challenging and questioning negative thought patterns. Channel positive beliefs to counteract negative or critical thoughts toward yourself. Late first lady Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 

This quote holds true even with the way you treat yourself and talk about yourself. You deserve to look after your heart and mind the way you would want someone else to, and to lift yourself up and be proud of the person you are. 

Prepare yourself to embrace learning. The “what ifs” can be consuming and cause your thoughts to spiral negatively if you allow them to. Reframe situations as life lessons and ask yourself what you’re moving forward with—whether it’s perseverance, strength, or even being slightly less triggered than you would have been a week, months or years before. Baby steps are still steps, even if they’re unsteady and you have to fall down a few more times before really learning how to walk forward and let things go. 

 

Have Intentional Actions 

Create rituals to help you physically or symbolically release the things that no longer serve you. 

 

• Going for a run or walk, or engaging in meditation and breathwork can help you to feel like you’re “sweating away” the little things that get to you.
• Write yourself a miniature “complaint column” on one page of paper about what you symbolically need to release and throw away or your column as a way of “freeing” yourself from what you were holding onto.
• Visualize the weight of the things bothering you or circulating your mind physically lifting away from your shoulders and out of your body and imagine yourself feeling lighter and open to the abundance yet to come.  

 

Free yourself from comparison! It’s often said that comparison is the thief of joy. Your path is uniquely yours, and whether it’s easy to see or not, there’s a good reason for that. Comparing how you handle situations and emotions to how others do so won’t help you change your situation. You might find yourself needing to stay away from or limiting social media to focus more on yourself and your intentions 

Make sure you engage in self-care and spend time doing things that bring you peace, quiet or calm your mind and nervous system, or help you feel a sense of accomplishment. This could be an exercise or hobby! Create space for yourself to relax into who you are comfortably. 

Start small when you’re training your brain that it’s safe to let go. Decluttering a physical space is a good way to practice this—it can be as small as your nightstand drawer or desktop! This is good practice in recognizing and creating positive change while getting rid of what you don’t need. Remember to take baby steps again here. You can also create affirmations or mantras that help guide and reassure you that you are doing your best, and that you are still okay and safe at the end of the day. You can either list these as notes of positivity someplace hidden that you can refer back to, or leave yourself post-it notes in helpful places like at your desk or in your bathroom medicine cabinet where you’ll see them now and then.

 

Make Mindset Adjustments 

The brain and thinking patterns are such powerful things. Your mindset matters. It can mean the difference in how you act, how you move forward, your sense of direction and motivation to improve your way of life or impact others. 

Forgiveness is a key part of readjusting your mindset. The act of forgiving is not only something you should give others to help you let go, but also something you should give yourself. Remove any guilt you might feel for holding onto things for so long and remind yourself that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. You’re only human, and you weren’t born with a handbook for how to handle every situation. 

Be kind to yourself and show yourself compassion as you move forward and learn to let go. Believe in your ability to move forward and be better, and slowly but surely, you’ll begin to feel the world opening up for you. You have the ability and the capacity to increase the amount of pleasure in your life by treating yourself with respect and recognizing your self worth. 

Know that it’s okay to seek support and advice when you’re struggling to let things go! Talk to trusted friends or family, or even a therapist if you’d like. There are also prayer and support groups at churches and within communities that can be helpful outlets. GoBundance Women is built on the foundation of sharing wisdom to lead happier, healthier, wealthier and more fulfilling lifestyles, both in business and personal lives. Start your membership today to get the coaching and community you need to move forward with grace, strength, and success.  

You are not the bad things that happen to you, the little things that annoy you, the way others react or act toward you, or your negative thoughts—you’re only how you move forward despite these things. Joining a GoBundance membership will help you declutter your mind and create room to enjoy and recognize the goodness that outweighs the bad.