In a world that pushes constant progress, it’s easy to feel behind when you aren’t where you want to be yet. Maybe you spend time daydreaming about who you want to be, and feel negatively about yourself when you pass by your reflection because you aren’t who you want to be yet? 

Many of us move through our present days just like that—often thinking of the future version of us who is happier, healthier, more successful or wanting to make improvements toward goals whether it be physically, mentally or other. 

Without direction and steps to help, it can be hard to truly conceptualize your identity and become the best version of you. It takes time and effort as well as trial and failure to truly reach your full potential, and more often than not, reaching your full potential may be a lifelong process! 

I encourage you to read these 12 ways to become the best version of yourself. By going through this authentic journey of self-discovery, you’ll be able to tap into that fulfilled, maximized life that you deserve.

And maybe the next time you walk past your reflection, you’ll be able to smile and appreciate how far you’ve come toward being the best version of you! 

Step One: Take Ownership of Your Life 

The first step of any self-improvement—whether it’s straightening out your finances, trying to lose weight or gain muscle, or even becoming the best version of ourselves—is always to take a good, honest look at yourself and who you are now. 

Identify where you are in life, why, and what the “best version” of yourself even looks like. Start envisioning who you want to be, how you want to feel, and where you want to be. 

Taking ownership for your life means focusing on the things you have the capacity to control while recognizing the things that are not your responsibility. When you start taking responsibility for your own decisions and outcomes, you’ll be able to hold yourself accountable throughout this beautiful journey.

Step Two: Ditch Your Limiting Beliefs 

We all have beliefs, biases, and negative thoughts or insecurities that have the ability to sabotage our development in life. Oftentimes, these thoughts and beliefs are so deeply entrenched and stem from trauma, childhood or even generation trauma. 

These limiting beliefs often come together through experiences, memories, unconscious filters, emotional triggers and more. These make up cognitive biases, and they have the ability to distort reality based on a past we have yet to learn to let go of. 

Understanding and acknowledging these behavioral and psychological mechanisms will help us to more precisely align our worldview with who we want to be. Identifying is just the first step to shake away everything that no longer serves you and has been holding you back. 

Step Three: Amplify Your Strengths 

Too often, we focus, stress, and ruminate on our weaknesses, shortcomings or insecurities. 

We beat ourselves up with “if” statements and sentiments—if only I didn’t lack in these areas, what if I could do more, and so on. It’s easy to become your own worst enemy instead of your own best friend when you spend time picking apart the things you have yet to pour into to create change. This mindset can make self-improvement feel like pushing a boulder uphill. 

Within these weaknesses and insecurities lays the foundation for your strength. You have the power to take your talents, characteristics, beliefs and traits to accentuate and nurture yourself into who you want to be. Just remember, it takes a little perseverance! 

Step Four: Develop a Growth Mindset

There’s a country duet with artist Margo Price featuring the legendary Willie Nelson that asks, “is winning learning to lose?” 

The takeaway here is to view losing as an opportunity to gain. Failure is where you find out what works for you and what doesn’t. That itself is winning, because even though you’ve “lost,” you’re still walking away with more skill development or self-improvement than you had before. This is a growth mindset! 

But by developing a growth mindset, you’ll see loss as an opportunity to grow from the experience and become happier, getting closer to the best version of yourself.

Step Five: Base Expectations on Yourself, Not Others

The fastest way to make yourself miserable is by comparison and measuring yourself against others. You might then feel behind or become jealous, instead of feeling inspired or regarding others with admiration for their accomplishments. 

Likewise, you might also put huge expectations on yourself, and then judge yourself negatively or harshly if you don’t measure up.

Letting go of the urge to compare and place expectations on yourself that don’t align with your own personal goals will help set you free from the expectations society or others set on you, too. Self-improvement is about your wants and needs, your mental and physical wellbeing, not those of others! 

Step Six: Know It’s Okay To Redefine Your Identity

Just like those expectations we mentioned above, we all have a firm vision of what our life should look like and who we should be. That may come from many places, including the pressures from parents, society, and our own need to reach our potential.

But like a caterpillar that becomes a butterfly, we need to fully strip ourselves of that old, useless identity to become the newer, better version of ourselves. Make sure that who you are reflects your beliefs, how you feel in your own body, and how you feel when you walk in a room. The impact you carry should be unique to you and your boundaries. 

Your identity should align with your sense of self worth and the recognition that you are priceless! 

Step Seven: Face Your Fears

Helen Keller once said, “life is either a grand adventure of nothing.” This quote is a wonderful reminder that there are two paths you can choose, and both are in your control. Wouldn’t you rather live a life of adventure with stories and colorful memories? 

No matter who you are or what you’re facing in life, you need to squarely confront your fears and smash through them in order to shift into the best version of yourself and find that adventure. 

Facing your fears doesn’t mean you’ll never feel fear again or that you’ll overcome every fear, but you’ll learn to embrace the process of taking risks and not being deterred by your failures. Once you start taking bigger, bolder risks on a regular basis, your dreams will be more within reach.

Step Eight: Build Better Daily Habits 

What will your life look like five, ten, or twenty years from now? What do you want it to look like? 

It doesn’t take a psychic to read the future, since your life down the road is just a function of your current daily habits. The choices you actively make today will have an affect on your future. 

It’s easy to daydream about this shiny, perfect version of ourselves sometime in the future, but the way to actually achieve that is to knuckle down on the minutiae of your daily habits and routines today. 

You don’t have to start with big, bold habits either. In fact, starting small is actually better. This can be focusing on building an awakening morning routine or a nighttime routine that helps you unwind. Make your habits work for you. 

Step Nine: Change Your Brain 

Your mind is such a powerful place—it’s guided you through so much and works to protect you and challenge you. You have the ability to change the way your brain functions by breaking through old patterns and substituting them for new, more empowering rituals and processes. This is your neuroplasticity. 

Neuroplasticity is one of the most unique aspects of human psychology, as the choices we make can actually create and strengthen new neural pathways, essentially rewiring how your brain works.

Learning how to use this to your advantage will be helpful for reframing your outlook to be more positive, recognize gratitude and feel rewarding. 

Step Ten: Practice Self Love

To be the best version of yourself, start treating yourself the way you deserve to be treated. Practice meeting yourself with more patience and compassion, and give yourself grace and forgiveness as you unlearn and relearn new, better habits. 

Treat yourself at least as well as you treat others. After all, you deserve it!

Step Eleven: Practice Positivity

Identify any negative self-talk and the conscious or subconscious triggers that set off your negative spirals. Begin to stop yourself from beating yourself up and tearing yourself down, and instead, boost yourself up. 

You only get one body, one life and one mind—love it and live it to the fullest! 

Step Twelve: Get Some R&R

Many of us are overworked, stressed out and anxious about it all. Take some time to recharge your batteries, and think about it as an investment in your health and happiness that will yield a monumental ROI in the long run. 

If you need help getting started and holding yourself accountable as you embark on this self-betterment journey, join a GoBundance Women membership today to meet like-minded women who are looking to balance it all while discovering the best version of themselves!