Did you know that an estimated 80% of your waking hours are spent communicating with others in some manner? This could be at work with coworkers, at home with family, or interacting with strangers. The term “communication” doesn’t just encompass talking—communication is both a verbal and nonverbal act, as well as a passive and active one.
According to the comprehensive study that found 80% of the day is spent communicating, the typical communication output and intake also includes:
- 9% of the day writing
- 16% reading
- 30% speaking
- 45% listening
Yes, listening is a pivotal form of communication as well! Communication is best understood as the exchange of information or data with the self or between people. It is the foundation upon which we build all of our interactions and relationships, both personal and professional, interpersonal or intrapersonal.
It’s the key to successful teamwork, fulfilling relationships, and effective conflict resolution.
Because it’s such a centripetal piece of humankind and functioning society, I wanted to highlight some critical insights, tips, and tactics that will help you enrich and enhance your communication so you can be effective and intentional in your everyday life.
Don’t underestimate the importance of intentional communication
Before we dive into the tips, let’s briefly explore why communication is so pivotal and necessary. Think about times you might’ve encountered a communication barrier. This could have been in workplace relations, school projects, with an authority figure, intimate partner or a friendship. Perhaps you felt misunderstood, there was a lack of compromise or explanation, or something else occurred with communication that created an icky downfall and led to consequences.
According to a study by the Project Management Institute, ineffective communication is the primary cause of failure in 30% of projects for companies and in the workplace.
In personal relationships, the statistics are equally telling. A survey by The Gottman Institute found that communication style is more predictive of divorce than personality traits. This finding shows just how crucial solid, effective communication is for relationship longevity!
Effective, open and transparent communication begets success. It’s necessary in order to cultivate cohesive collaboration and achieve collective goals. If we want to be successful and create lasting partnerships, we have to be willing to not only talk about it, but also to reach compromises, meet others with empathy, know that it’s okay to have a difference of opinions, and flex our ability to understand someone else’s perspectives.
What constitutes “good” communication?
How do we define “good” communication? It often boils down to two simple factors, though it still requires work, for effective communication doesn’t always happen with ease.
The most effective communicators focus on:
- Clearly conveying their messages, while also
- Actively listening to others
Effective communicators must be willing to accept input—both verbal and non-verbal—in real time while also expressing their thoughts and opinions in a collaborative, calm and approachable manner.
Regardless of the communication style, be it virtual (as often happens these days) or in-person, effective communication involves a genuine connection with others. Being intentional in your message is imperative. Think about not only what you’re saying, but how you’re saying it, your mode of delivery, and who you’re delivering the message to.
This means the most powerful skill you can leverage is actively doing your best to understand and be in sync with your audience—a lot of this involves attentiveness through active listening or observing.
However, achieving all of that can take quite a bit of practice. To help get you started, I’ve prepared my top 3 communication tips for work, top 3 communications tips for relationships, and my top 3 communication tips for everyday.
Improve your workplace communications
- Practice Active Listening:
Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding and remembering what is being said. This skill can transform your interactions at work. Nodding and speaking when necessary, taking notes or and making eye contact will show others your direct effort to understand. Encourage any feedback, ask open-ended questions, and summarize what you’ve heard to confirm understanding. This not only improves the information relay but also builds trust among team members.
- Clarity and Conciseness:
Be clear and concise in your communications. Avoid jargon and complex language that might confuse the receiver. A study on legal writing by Joseph Kimble showed that clearer, plainer language improved understanding and compliance—a principle that can be applied in every communication effort. You want your audience to feel that they can relate to you, and if they don’t understand everything you say or have too many follow-up questions, there’s likely a disconnect in how you delivered information.
Another great practice I find invaluable is setting a time limit for any important communication at work, fostering clear expectations, and improving the directness of exchanges while showing you have an appreciation for other people’s time and expectations.
- Recap Important Details:
A whole lot of nonverbal and interpersonal cues can be lost over text, email, and social media. So, ensure understanding by recapping the key points after each exchange or conversation. A three-bullet point summary in an email is highly effective for both parties to come together towards a shared conversation!
Enhancing communication in relationships
- Understand Communication Styles:
Your spouse or partner may want the exact same things as you but have highly different communication styles. Some express themselves openly, while others are more reserved. People also carry unique non-verbal signals that can indicate how they’re receiving communication. Understanding these styles can greatly improve interpersonal interactions.
According to Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics, recognizing whether your partner is a “talker” or a “non-talker” can help in adjusting your communication expectations and interactions. When it comes to intimate relationships, knowing how to speak your partner’s love languages can greatly improve the longevity of the partnership. Even platonic friendships can benefit from knowing how to best communicate love to one another.
If you’d like to read more in-depth about relationships and love languages, check out The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a wonderful, useful read that can help you understand your own communication style when it comes to love as well.
- Express Your Needs Clearly:
Be ultra-clear and direct about your needs and expectations. Don’t assume your partner knows them already or can fill in the blanks on any other information. No one is a mind reader, and it’s unfair and unrealistic to place that expectation on someone else.
The Journal of Marriage and Family published a study showing that couples who clearly express their needs are less likely to experience conflicts. Make sure you create space for having necessary discussions about how you align, what your needs are, and what helps you feel safe to communicate openly and honestly.
- Practice Empathy:
Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another. By empathizing, you can connect more deeply and navigate through conflicts more effectively. This doesn’t mean agreeing with the other person’s perspective every time but acknowledging that their feelings are valid. Amazingly, most people just need their feelings validated, not necessarily agreed with!
Everyday communication tips
- Mind Your Nonverbal Cues:
Nonverbal communication—such as facial expressions, gestures and posture—play a massive role in how our messages are received. Albert Mehrabian’s research indicates that 93% of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues. So, make sure your body language is consistent with your words to ensure clear, honest communication.
- Feedback is Key:
Whether you’re giving or receiving, constructive feedback is a cornerstone of effective communication. Make it a habit to ask for feedback on your communication style and efforts. This not only helps in personal growth but also strengthens your relationships by showing your openness to improvement.
- Adaptability:
Know your audience, environment and context. Being adaptable in your communication style can greatly improve how you interact with others—this involves adjusting your style according to the situation and the person or group you’re communicating with to show empathy and openness to understanding. It can also help your audience feel more comfortable communicating back to you.
Wrapping it up
The tips provided here are just starting points! Effective communication is a journey, not a destination, and it requires continuous effort and learning.
Remember, the goal of communication is knowing that a deeper understanding brings people together in shared, authentic connection. By practicing and improving our communication skills, we make our work environments more efficient, our relationships more robust, and our daily interactions more fulfilling.
I encourage you all to join GoBundance Women to start learning how to communicate more effectively with diverse groups of people and practice open, fulfilling connections through a membership with us.
