Why More Money Won't Fix Your Life Until You Fix This

Love this conversation with Danielle McKinley, who's a wealth architect and business strategist who helps entrepreneurs master money, build simple systems, and unlock financial freedom. After building and selling a bootstrap software company for 9 figures, Danielle learned that real wealth is not about working harder. It is about clarity, aligned decisions, and understanding your numbers. She's deeply passionate about helping women unlock their magic and feel confident making money decisions. Danielle is the creator of So to Money Method, founder of Harmony Hustle Academy, and host of the podcast, Magic's in the Mess. Here's Danielle. Welcome to the Power Up Your Life podcast. I'm Kelly Resendez.

I'm Mandy McAllister.

And we are blessed to have Danielle McKinley in the house. How are you today, Danielle?

Oh, so good. Thanks for having me.

Awesome. Well, share a little bit about your journey.

Oh my goodness. That's a loaded question. Right? Right out the gate. Okay. So, let's see what drops in first. So you know that moment when you finally hit a goal? Like, the revenue number, the launch, the thing that you were working super, super hard at, and you swore that hitting that goal was gonna make you feel a certain way? Your Life, this is gonna be gold. This is gonna make me x, insert whatever it is. And then you're standing there Mandy you're waiting for that, like, wave of relief once you do it. And sometimes it just doesn't Women. Or you check the box and you feel like, okay, what's next? We're moving on to the next thing. And maybe you have, like, a celebratory margarita that tastes weirdly Life, now what? Right? That is what I wanna share with you because we are gonna get into some fun stuff today. But when I was hitting every single goal, something still felt off. On the outside, I was a SaaS founder. I had exits. I was checking all the boxes Mandy things looked great, but inside, something was missing. And so I went back and I did some internal digging, and what I found was my eight year old self Mandy the promise that I made to myself when I was eight after asking my mom to leave my dad, and her response being, honey, I would if I could, but I can't afford to care for you kids on my own. And I am taking us way back because uncovering and going back to eight year old little me is why I am here with you ladies today because it helped me discover the deeper side of money, the money story that we all inherently carry, whether we are conscious of it or not. And it is why I now help women really build what matters on purpose, but understand their relationship with money to truly unlock the dream life.

My goodness. I totally have the chills. That was Life an inside out. Like, holy moly. I love where this conversation is gonna go. So when we really think about Women, and you talked about feeling. Right? Like, is money I mean, it it obviously is an external representation of something, but, like, what are the underlying feelings that you found women are really after when they're looking at accumulating or building wealth?

Yes. So it's usually the opposite of what they think it is. Right? They're thinking that the the wealth is gonna, you know, free up some of their time. They're gonna be more present with their kids. It's gonna allow them to get the house they always wanted or the outfit they always wanted or to go on that dream vacation. But what they are really chasing is removal of shame and fear underneath. Fear that, like, it's not gonna come Your I'm not worthy of it Mandy not understanding the patterns Mandy the relationship to what their story is. Like, even just think for a minute Life you're listening to this, when's the last time, if ever, have you paused and genuinely asked yourself, what is my relationship with money? It's not a question we hear often. It's not something that comes up, you know, on these conferences that we go to or even on podcasts regularly because it's almost Life taboo. Money is this taboo thing. So what I challenge you to think about today is what is your relationship with money?

I I think that's such an interesting thing to explore. You know? I I think the the first thing that comes to my mind is that money is an amplifier. If you're a jerk and you get money, you become more of a jerk. If you're really generous, you can be more generous the more money you make. So I I really love that idea. You know, I I work with women investing too mostly in the multifamily space. And, you know, I I'm curious in your work, all of the women that you've worked with Mandy maybe you yourself, what is maybe the most common roadblock to growth in money that women hit? And then what's some actional advice about getting around that?

Yeah. So we'll we'll talk, like, sort of energetic, but also tangible. Okay? So the number one block that women are are having with money is thinking that money is not their block Mandy thinking that their relationship or their story with money is has nothing to do with it. You know, they're often looking for what's the next next, like, creative finance Life you're gonna get your next deal. What's the next, like, sales strategy, marketing strategy? How do I grow? How do I become a better leader? But, again, they don't pause and go, well, what what is my relationship with money? So that's by far the number one. And then the next thing is really not building the money muscle of of being close to your numbers. Kind of going Life, okay. I'm making good money, but I'm gonna outsource this. So one of the things that I often talk about is it's fascinating to me how we go, okay. I'm not a money person. Or you'll say the things Life, I'm not good with money. I gotta hire that out. And then you go and hire it out based on somebody's recommendation. But are you stopping to go, is that advisor a business owner? Do they understand tax strategy? Are they a real estate investor? Have they ever done the things that you wanna do? And if the answer is no, well, that, honey, is something that is keeping you a little stuck. So I I start that with, like, my framework is called the so to. And so the first step, what the s stands Your, is seeing your relationship and your numbers.

My gosh. So powerful. One of the blocks that I talk a lot about is fear of numbers, and I had it. Yeah. I didn't wanna look at my numbers. My goal was make so much that I didn't need to worry about it, and I wish I could get back all that money that I spent without without thinking. So when you help women with money, what are some of the things that you do?

So first and foremost, what makes me unique is I I combine energetics with the strategy. So the first thing that we're gonna do is understand your money personality. I have a money personality quiz, and we are gonna figure out what is your relationship with Women, what are we working with that's working, and what are we working with that's not serving us so that we can rewire it. And then we're gonna start to implement strategy. So all things from tax strategy, investing, creative finance, infinite banking, anything that makes sense for what we want. And that's the big thing is that it's not cookie cutter, we're gonna do the same thing and retire at 65 because snooze fest, who wants to do that? Like, let's retire sooner. Like, why is that we just accepted, like, 65 is the age? Who why? Right? So we're gonna challenge that, and we're gonna really build a plan that's unique to Your. Because something else to consider is that we often think money is gonna make us happy, and happiness really is just your level of contentment. Right? And the challenge with social media is every time we get on this thing Mandy we start scrolling, we have endless comparison radius this day and age. And so we immediately get those cortisol hits of, like, oh my gosh. They're doing better than me, or they're further along, or I can't have that. And so one of the big things that we do is define your contentment filter. I call it a harmony compass so that when those things are happening, because we're human and they're going to Mandy social media is not going anywhere, we can level set and anchor back into that plan and ask ourselves, hey. Are we on track with the plan we made? And then that is the pattern interrupt to get you back to neutral.

I I think that there is so much wisdom in this. Mandy, actually, just before this call, I got to give a presentation. I bought a a car wash because some influencers told me it was the thing I should go do. Totally. Right? So I I think that starting with strategy is the kinda knee jerk reaction for a lot of people, especially women. So I I love that you're dialing back and starting at home. Like, one of the the common threads in the podcast is that it always starts at home. You know, let's go back to this. You you you called to the so to method. Walk me through what those steps are. What what are the things after seeing that I need to be aware of? Yeah. So after seeing, the o stands for optimizing.

So doing two things. We're really optimizing how we're making money, both how does it feel Mandy are we spending time where it matters to maximize what we're earning? Do we need to delete, delegate, automate, those sort of things? And so you're kind of combining some strategy with it, and then we're also plugging any money leaks. And so now that we see it, right, as the first step, we're going, okay. Shoot. Those are some things that we can do away with. And then the t stands for transform. And so this is where we start to make our money work harder than we do. We're starting to look at investing, whether that be traditional investing, oil and gas, gold and silver, real estate, wherever it is. Right? We wanna have a nice diverse portfolio Mandy then also creative finance Life infinite banking. And then the u stands for unlock. And that's where we really unlock our leverage for that true compounding, like, the money is really working harder than we are, and we can just retire before 65 if we want to, or we can keep doing the things that light our soul on fire. Yeah. So so options.

So great. So I wanna go backwards a little bit because I definitely do not wanna overlook the fact that you bootstrapped a 9 figure company. I mean, congratulations. There's very few people that have done that. You know, tell me a few things that you learned in doing that, that for the person that is building a company today that might help them.

Yeah. So first, I wanna go back to something you said because I think it's so important, and I want it to change so fast. There is only 1% of women that exit businesses. And I Your forecast and foresee that that is gonna drastically change with AI. So number one, doing having that experience, gosh, it it was, like, the best personal development journey of my life. There are so many lessons that were Mandy, but I think what's so relevant to today and I was just in I'm I'm in a high level mastermind, and I was just sharing this with our group that creators and people who have these these fun ideas used to think, like, oh, I have to have software engineers. I have to have coders. I have to have all of these things. And with everything that has developed with AI, you guys, I was a SaaS founder before AI happened. Okay? So if I could do it that way, you can do it now with whatever idea you have. You can bring it to life with the power of AI. Anyone can go. I've been, like, obsessed with Replit and playing with apps in there. So if you have something on your heart, think even bigger, and you can make it happen. So I'll I'll I'll leave you with this. When I reflect on my journey, the number one thing that I looked at because I like, I wasn't by on paper someone that should have been able to do that. Okay? I'm a college dropout. I grew up, you know, in a household that was chaos. My dad's an alcoholic. Like, there were a lot of things working not in my favor to have a a 9 figure exit. So, again and I say that not to be Life, oh, poor me, but to go, if I can do it, you can do it. Like, I'm literally just proof. And when I reflect on the journey, there's three key things that I think you have to embody in order to do something big.

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And when I reflect on the journey, there's three key things that I think you have to embody in order to do something big. And number one, you've gotta decide that the thing you want is for you. I decided it doesn't matter where I came from. It doesn't matter what my credentials are. I am a scrappy girl from Mesa, Arizona, and I am gonna make this shit happen. Okay? And then and then you have to believe in yourself before you have proof. Okay? I will never forget what it felt like the first time I got on stage to speak to a room of 50 doctors as a college dropout Mandy a SaaS founder. I mean, talk about imposter syndrome. Okay. But what did I have on that stage? I was like, you know what? I'm just an expert in this lane. They're an expert in that lane. I can't put on their white coat, and they can't put on mine. Right? And I believed in myself, and then I took daily consistent action. That's the third step. You have to take daily consistent action to show your brain there's proof in the belief that you have. Because when we believe something, our brain is trained to go find evidence of that thought. Right? So because I believe that I could do it, that I could get to the exit Mandy I took that action, I was creating a new neural pathway that taught my brain, okay, you actually can do this. You can do this big thing that sounds crazy. So decide, believe, and take action.

Oof. I I love all of that. The the figuring out the proof when I look backwards that I have been able they've been able to figure out things in the past, we're gonna figure this out too. I absolutely love that. Many of our listeners are lady business owners and investors who did come from some other career and made a whole bunch of pivots and identity shifts in the meantime. One thing that I've observed about myself and a a lot of other people making those changes is that identity shift is the hardest piece. Tell me a little bit about, you know, you and your journey and that identity shift, and then all the women you work with, things that you see around that identity shift.

Yeah. So I'm gonna I'm gonna share with you the identity shift that happened after the exit. Okay? Because we started we started this with, like, you do the thing and you you hit the mark, and then you're like, okay. It's gonna feel this way. You create this story inside of your head. Right? And I went through a severe identity crisis after the exit because I didn't know who I was, not as a SaaS founder. There was so much of my identity and so much of my self worth that was wrapped up in that little silly title. And Kelly that title, what it was doing was keeping eight year old me safe because I had the choices. I had the money. I was able to make the decisions to stay or to go, and my mom wasn't. Right? So Kelly coming home, the thing you guys you know, Your the tagline here, right, is coming home to you and going inside and asking yourself the tough questions. And the sooner that you do that, the sooner you can unlock your real authentic identity to where those feelings that we're chasing through the goals or through the the moving of, hey, we're gonna accomplish this, then we're gonna go to that. They kind of dissipate because you get to just be. You just get to be you. You get to be enough as you. You get to be worthy as you. You get to know that you're gonna be for some people. You're not gonna be for some people, and that is a blessing because it's keeping you safe from people that aren't meant for you as well. And so I think that as especially as female entrepreneurs that are raising the kids and having the relationships and showing up to all of the things, we don't pause enough to really go, okay, is this all lighting me up? And is this aligned with who I want to actually be? And it's not the funniest thing to do. And I did I mean, I went on Life a year journey of healing to figure it out, and I can I can confidently and peacefully say I am the happiest now that I've ever been? I hope that it continues to go that way, and I know things ebb and flow, but I know that it's because I've done a lot of the deep inner work of discovering my worth for me, not based on other people's terms.

Wow. So powerful. I you've shared so many amazing things, but, like, so many of us have been brainwashed about what we should be doing with our money. Right? You go to a financial planner. You, you know, basically invest in your IRA. Maybe you buy real estate, other things. Like, what unconventional things around money do you tend to lead women to do so that they can build their wealth that much faster?

Yeah. I would say the most unconventional thing, and this is something that I learned after I sold my company and I became obsessed with it, is probably infinite banking. And, essentially, what infinite banking is, if you're watching this, I'm gonna give you a fun visual. Let's see what I have to play with here. So infinite banking is essentially a properly structured whole life insurance policy that allows you to become your own bank. Okay? So you do a a Your in, and I'll use real estate for the example, Mandy, because we talked about that earlier. So let's say you wanna flip a house Mandy you make a large profit Mandy you're Life, what do I do with this money? I wanna rinse and repeat this, but I don't wanna deal with a hard money lender or a private money lender in the future. Well, you pour, let's say, a $100,000 into your properly structured policy. So here's your $100,000. You find the next beautiful property that looks like a trash can, but you've got the vision Mandy you're Life, I'm gonna make this beautiful, and you can pull out 90% of that money for any reason. Okay? So you pull out 90,000 and you're flipping the house. And meanwhile, in your policy, it looks like that 90,000 never left. The 100,000 is still compounding interest at usually an average return of 7%. Okay? So what did you do? You turned $1 into Women. And the best thing is is that unlike traditional lending or a hard money lender, you don't have to make a payment while you're flipping the house. There's no requirement of that. So if it takes you six months or eight months or some you know, you get a bad contractor and things happen, then you can pay that back whenever the transaction closes even if it's a year later, two years later, and then you can rinse and repeat. And that's why it's called infinite banking. So you can do it as many times as you want. I have one of these policies,

and I used this to buy out, a partner that it wasn't working in a a property that I owned with a partner, and I was able to buy her out and improve it in a way that has been really fantastic. So I I am a big proponent of infinite banking. So thank you for bringing that up. I'm curious about this podcast that you host, The Magics in the Mess. Your know, it sounds like we are soul sisters here. Like I, I, I, there's so many podcasts that are, oh my god. I used to be poor, but now I'm rich. You know? I don't care about that. I wanna know what happens when you feel stuck when you don't have clarity. Talk to me about, you know, some things in that podcast Mandy maybe some big lessons you've learned having interviewed a bunch of people.

Yeah. So that is what is there. The the title sums it up perfectly is that we're always gonna experience the messy middle anytime we're doing anything. Parenting, friendships, scaling a business, whatever it is. And so it really is unearthing the hardship, not the cookie cutter shiny like, we can go on Instagram if we want the highlight reel. Right? So it's really pulling out what are the messy things that you went through that got you to the thing that now looks so shiny that everybody wants to talk to you about because the shiny thing isn't the cool thing. Nine a nine figure x-ray people are Life, oh, cool. Good for you. That doesn't teach them anything. Right? We wanna talk about the lessons that were learned. So that's what we do there. And it's a mixture of I interview people to capture their messy middle, and I also do solo episodes. Like, I'm about to put out one that is probably one of my most vulnerable. The title is the seven lessons I learned being a drug dealer in high school. So there I mean, it's Why? There there's gold there. And and don't worry. It it's not what you think. You can go check it out. It's it's not what you think, but there are, like, true gold that was there that I'm, like, how did I not see that? And, you know, there's always litter I I call it, knocks, nudge, and rhinos, and this is from, my coach Kelly. I didn't come up with this, but life will sort of knock at you to give you a clue or to give you a guidance. I mean, god, source, universe, whatever you subscribe to. We often miss those ones. And then there's a nudge, which kinda feels like what you would think of push. Like, you see it, you feel it, but you're kinda Life, nah. And then there's a rhino. And a rhino forces you to pay attention. So, like, an example of one of my rhinos that I talk about on the podcast too is I dislocated my shoulder in my sleep. That's how I hit burnout. That's how we figured it out. That's how we got things to change and to come around so that I didn't I had stage four adrenal fatigue. So in Magics in the Mess, we like to pick up those clues and help you sort of identify them so that you can get to where you wanna go faster.

Yeah. Follow-up there real quick. How do you get there? How do you listen for that knock so that I don't have to wait for the rhino?

Yeah. So that that's the funny part is you have to get, so what has helped me start to learn how to listen to my knocks is to challenge my thoughts and to go, like, when something comes because you know how, like, this happens for me, like, I'll be driving. You'll have, like, a thought come through Mandy you're Life, oh, that's a good thing. I'm gonna come back to that later, and then you try and rethink it and it doesn't come back to you. That that's Life a knock. Like, you had the awareness. You listened to it. You had kind of a dialogue with it. And so challenging and pausing, slowing down is how you notice the the nudges.

Yeah. So powerful. You know, Danielle, we know in the data that Women, all time high, overwhelm, burnout, imposter syndrome, self sabotage overload. Right? How do you recommend that women start putting themselves first physically and emotionally so that they can be ready for this next step of creating this level of wealth?

So you remember it goes back to the three ingredients. Decide, believe, take action. Okay? So when I hit my burnout, I had to decide that that wasn't gonna be me anymore. I had to believe that I could make the changes that were gonna get me out of it, number one, and then help prevent me from doing it again, and then I had to take action. So, like, a tangible thing that you can do right away that I did for me when I when I experienced the rhino is I scheduled my wellness and my me time, and I treated it like I would a client on my calendar. Mhmm. And I I implemented something that I still do today. One Friday a month is a no schedule day. And so depending on how I feel that day, like, I don't know if you know anything about human design, but I'm a six two sacral generator. So I've got Hermit in my profile, which means that I am a very outgoing person until I'm an introvert, and I don't wanna say any words. And so sometimes on this this Friday that I have blocked in my schedule, I will bed rot, and I will binge a show. Like, I already have on my list this off campus thing that everybody's talking about. I'm gonna binge that the next time I need a bed brought day. But sometimes it's I feel really good, and I'll have a mommy and me date with my kids. Or I'll go on a hike or to a spa or whatever I or I'll work. Sometimes I'm feeling creative, and I'm like, I wanna execute that thing. But just putting it in there and me knowing that that is an investment in me Mandy having that quiet time gives me space and time for creativity. As females, we are so creative. And when we're always on the go, we shut out the creativity. And so my my my advice would be, like, pick one thing, even if it's an hour. Like, start with something small, but treat it like you would a client. You're gonna show up. You're gonna show up for yourself. You're gonna look at it like this is gonna pay me back a crazy ROI because you're you're you're biggest investment.

Well, Danielle Kelly Go ahead, Mandy.

This I I mean, I feel like we're soul sisters. We're gonna have a secret handshake. It's gonna be a whole thing. But wait to hug in your life. A 100%. So you have said so many things that I have written down here. First off, I'm scheduling that bed rot day. Yes. But decide, believe, action. That that that knee I'm a cross stitch that on a pillow for you. Yeah. And the is this lighting me up? I need to ask myself that question more often. Thank you for that gift. Kelly, what were your favorites?

Yeah. I mean, just the awareness of just what is my relationship with money is so powerful because we often don't think about it. We might look at our bank account or our investments or or whatever we're really trying to do. And then, you know, Kelly, that this is an energy job too. Like, strategy is important, but energy is also important, and you have to do both things simultaneously. So many powerful tips that you've given us today. So, Danielle, one of the things that we love to do on this, is there a resource or connection that would change the ballgame for you and make sure you share how our listeners can find you as well?

Well, just come be my friend, honestly. Like, I, just be my friend. I'm on Instagram. That's where I love to hang out. I love a good voice note. Tell me your favorite thing. Like, I am a words of affirmation girly. So if you're like, oh my gosh. This thing you said really landed for me, day made, and thank you. And more so, I would like to leave the listeners with a gift, which is that, you know, if you're hitting your goals and you're still feeling, like, the the no relief coming up, like, I want you to know that nothing's wrong with Your, and you were just handed this definition of success that was never gonna deliver. Okay? But if you pause and you decide that you're gonna make some awareness to that and you're gonna rewrite it, your dream life, the thing you think about when you're cruising down the freeway or you're on a beach somewhere or you're laying down in bed being like, please, god, just make it happen tomorrow. It can happen. You just gotta decide, believe, and take action. And I would love to gift the listeners my money quiz. So I the personality quiz, which will help give you some ideas of where that's at. So I'll shoot you guys a link you can put in the show notes or do your thing, whatever you do. Amazing. Amazing. Well, thank you again for bringing all the wisdom today, all your success, and more importantly, turning your, you know, your journey into a purpose driven business, helping other women unlock,

you know, next levels of success. So if this show was something you enjoyed, leave us a review, share it with friends, come back Mandy listen to the next episode of Power Up Your Life. We'll see you next time.

Thanks for joining us today on the Power Up Your Life podcast. If you got value from today's episode, make sure that you like and subscribe and send this episode to someone who needs to hear some wins like this. If you need to power up your business, head over to Power Up Your Life Now, where you can see all of the resources that our team has to power up your business. We'll see you on the next episode.