How to Care for Aging Parents Without Losing Yourself

What an amazing conversation we just had with Michelle Bianco, who is the cofounder and CXO of Arlo, a licensed physical therapist and health care executive with over thirty years of experience in strategic consulting, operational leadership, and patient centered innovation. She transitioned into age tech, carrying both a clinical lens of someone who built systems from the inside and the deeply personal lens of firsthand family experience of caregiving. And now she's influencing Arlo to reflect both. Here's Michelle. Hi there. Welcome to the Power Up Your Life podcast. I'm Kelly Resendez.

And I'm Mandy McAllister.

And we are so excited to have you here, Michelle. How are you? I'm well. Thank you so much. I'm glad to be here. Yeah. Well, let's start. Tell us a little bit about your background.

Sure. So I'm a physical therapist by trade. So started my career in healthcare as a physical therapist for a little over a decade, had the opportunity to be in consulting, not only in The Up, but globally to help really inform advanced experiences within the orthopedic space, looking at hospitals, ambulatory surgery centers, as well as, physician practices. And then I had this career opportunity to go be a founder in Arlo. And through Arlo, I have the opportunity to really help support those who are looking for insights as an older adult or a caregiver as they're going through the aging experience?

Oh my goodness. That is amazing. Well, you know, in my own experience, like raising kids, right, you think, like, raising kids is so challenging Mandy then you you kinda might have an aging parent that has some challenges during that whole time, and that's what happened to me. You know, I had my mom in diapers and my kids in diapers at the same time because she had dementia. And now fast forward, you know, over ten years from then, you know, I'm taking care of a 91 year old dad. And let me tell you, like, I'm really good at managing stress and other things, but it is it is a lot. Like, what would you just say to to the people out there, the women out there that are taking care of parents, how your company really can support them on this journey?

Yeah. I think the first thing is that you're not alone while you're going through that everyday experience. It is really challenging and it can really pivot your whole world in terms of your ability to participate in social activities. It has significantly impacted careers, because in order to provide caregiving as well as support your family, it's happening to the sandwich generation Kelly as you've identified, Kelly. It is a real challenge. So what Arlo aims to do is if you have an older adult in your network that might just need a little bit of Up, coordinating Your medication, getting to appointments, we help support that. So you don't have to be in the despairs and the challenges of caregiving, but it might just be that little support that your family needs, whether you're caregiving from afar or you're living within, you know, ten minutes of a family member, all of that can be different. For the older adult, who's trying to be, you know, as independent as possible, as well as the caregiver who needs to weigh their options in terms of how do I support mom Life she just needs a little bit of help, how do I get insights into the help she needs, as well as when you have somebody with dementia who can't really Up, we offer support there as Kelly. Whether it's insights and guidance through our AI technology, we have medication management so that you can get not only ensure that there's medication adherence, whether you're dispersing the medication or your loved one is, but we also have things like a dedicated locker. Many people, as they're trying to organize their life, they might have some things in place like wills or advanced directives, but they forget to share it with family, which who needs it. Right? You need to be able to have access to that information. And instead of waiting for a crisis, Arlo intends to really support you throughout the journey so that you can be prepared when a crisis occurs, as well as just for that everyday support for the older adult and the caregiver. As you mentioned, it is stressful. And, you know, statistics say there's only eleven percent of people who are in the caregiving journey actually have medical training, yet you're dispersing medication, you're helping with functional changes and mobility, and you're all of a sudden having to monitor glucose or monitor somebody's weight. And then what do you do about it? Arlo helps support that through technology, as well as a human expertise through our care advisors. And I think that's a big differentiator. Not all questions can be answered by Google. Right? We have curated advice and support through our AI technology, and that can really help with logistics and routines, but getting access from a human whenever you really don't know what to ask or what is next, it can't be replaced.

Absolutely. I I mean, I I have had, a number of knee surgeries, and I know I am a terrible patient. And now I see my dad getting older, and I'm telling you what, that man is also a terrible patient. So I think this also removes me telling him to do stuff, the opportunity for, you know, an expert or or, you know, platform to to be helping take care of that. I I Life how you call it the sandwich generation because that's what we're doing. We're taking care of kids Mandy we're taking care of our aging parents. I I'm curious. I I love talking to people who see a lot of experiences. Right? We, as sandwich generation humans, only have two parents, generally speaking, that we go through this process with. You have an opportunity to guide many, many aging individuals through, you know, these issues. What are some common problems? What are some common easily overcome problems that you and your company help, address?

Yeah. I think that's important is everybody comes in with their own perspective of what their needs are. As a platform, you have to be able to solve multiple problems and meet people where they're at, whether it's the older adult or the caregiver. And Arlo wasn't built by accident. Right? We have a team of people that are working every day on Arlo that have their own caregiver experience, as well as seeing aging friends and family in need. And we also interviewed hundreds of people, older adults and caregivers to really inform our product. So things that we have seen in terms of consistent themes is really medication adherence. If you are not consistent with a medication that is recommended, that can put you into the emergency room. Or if you have an interaction with medication Mandy you think this is just aging, I'm getting old, but really it's a negative interaction because maybe that your specialist and your primary care physician didn't really speak to understand that medication. That's a real insight that Arlo can provide. We will never say stop taking this medication, but because you input your medications in an easy format, by taking a picture, you have all of your medications in one place, and then you're able to see where some of those interactions can occur. It might be as simple as leg cramps or fatigue, but maybe have an increased risk of bleeding. And now you have access to the, all of that information, and then you can speak in an educated way to your pharmacist or your physician. I think that's one example. Another example, and it sounds like you've had some of those challenges, Kelly, So how do you start to have those conversations with a loved one about taking the keys away Your you're worried about safety? I mean, those are things that there's not a easy method to do that because you're concerned about the person you're speaking with, that loved one, and how are they going to accept this information? And Arlo will provide you through our AI technology in terms of guidance of how do you communicate with that older adult in a loving empathic way? Get your objectives answered. And whenever that becomes difficult that I don't even know what to do next, how do I ask? How do I know when mom is ready for that next level of care? Our care advisors, certified senior advisors who have a wealth of experience in all of those formats in terms of communication, family meetings, or logistics Life legal insights, all of that is provided through a human. So I think those are some common things that we've seen.

Oh my god. You just zapped me there. I'm so sorry. Like, it literally took me back. And, you know, the two hardest situations that we had with my mom And it wasn't my mom. It was Matt. It was my dad. It was, you know, taking the keys away. It took her getting into car accidents after she was diagnosed, And he was letting her drive still, and and it was like she had no, you know, like, no no frontal lobe capacity Mandy because of the type of dementia she has. So her decision making skills weren't sharp. And and and then the second one was when it was time to put her somewhere. And it took my dad having, Your know, basically a mini stroke for me to end up going home to see how bad things had really gotten. And it was, I mean, it was it was probably the worst time in my Life. And and you're absolutely right. Like, I didn't have support. I had to figure it out on my own. I didn't you know, my friends weren't going through it because I was so young in comparison because my mom was so young. So I think that's just an incredible resource that you guys have out there. And and, you know, we you and I had talked about how a lot of this falls on on the daughters. You know, not that sons are bad or whatever, but we're just such natural born caretakers, and we don't realize and recognize the toll that it takes on us. You know, I had a conversation with the woman the other day that was really trying to get her own physical well-being back after taking care of aging parents and losing herself in the experience. And that is, I mean, do you see that a lot with with people that are doing that?

Yep. First off, I'm so sorry to hear about the experience that you've personally had to go through that that impacts you personally, your family, your your parents. I'm so sorry that you had to learn through that. And it sounds like you've grown through it as well. But we do see that challenge of it falls on the older daughter, oftentimes 60 plus percent more than it falls on to that, the son, or sibling. So it does impact not only the way in which they can navigate their day. It, they say that it's about twenty five hours of caregiving that you provide on average, and that is on top of your family, taking kids to soccer, changing diapers, and a full time job, which rarely is at forty hours a week at this point. So that is compounding effort. And 25% are using caregiving, support forty plus hours a week. And I just can't even imagine the impact that takes on you personally, your physical health, as well as your social life. Mandy all of a sudden, you have to withdraw from seeing your friends, really doing the things that you find joy because you have to be so committed to your care recipient. And that those are things that we see. And because of that, many women are limited in their ability to communicate with their Mandy. Less than 50% feel comfortable saying, I have a caregiving experience that I is impacting me. Although we celebrate childbirth and child experiences, it's not looked upon the same way as when you have elder care, right? You probably weren't celebrating. My mom has dementia to your social and your work, people. So that's a real challenge is just even being able to have that caregiving culture at work, that it makes it acceptable. So giving people resources Mandy we have a proprietary staging of caregiving. So as you will work with Arlo, you start to get asked questions to understand where are Your? Are you just in the early stages where you don't even know what questions to ask? Are you in the thick of it where we need to help guide you to asking for Kelly, getting resources, both within Arlo as well as in your community. And I think that really decreases the mental load and the burden that you have as a caregiver.

Oh, I I mean, in this world of women in senior leadership or female business owners, Talk about, a load, a bird like, burden's the right word and the wrong word at the same time of of needing to care for for an elderly, family member because your attention on growing your career at that point is when it's imperative to, you know, have parity in the world of of men and women at, leadership roles. I I I love what you're doing here, and I really think it's so important as a resource to the the world, but especially women. The Power of Your Life podcast is powered by GoBundance Women. I could tell you stuff about it, or you could hear from some of our members. Here you go. GoBundance has connected me with an amazing group of entrepreneurial women

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GoBundance gave me a boardroom of sisters who refused to let me settle. You know, within the first two months of me being a member, I enrolled someone to help them with their high ticket sales. I got double back my investment within the first, you know, sixty days of being a member. So it was it's incredible. You guys are just amazing, and there's always somebody to look up to in in, in GoBundance, so I love being a member.

That's why you owe it to yourself to check out goabundancewomen.com. I I love what you're doing here, and I really think it's so important as a resource to the the world, but especially women, in these leadership roles. I wanna change, how we're looking at things here just real quick. You are also a business owner. We are largely lady business owners who listen to this podcast. I I'm curious about, you know, in your founding of Arlo, what are some things about scaling this, business that have really surprised you as you've gone along?

Yeah. Well, I am one of three founders and we have just an outstanding team that is heads down working to improve this product, to ensure that we can really support those throughout the aging journey. And I would say some of the things that we have learned through this process is that employers really need to support this aging journey as, a benefit. And that's something that we're working from, a channel perspective. It just took me back to see how many people in the employer space have pet insurance and childcare yet they aren't supporting those that in this growing space of more than 11,000 people each day turning 65, we're not giving them the right resources for elder care so that you can have a successful career as well as get the support you need to provide for families. I will say that many organizations have some sort of ten day respite care Your you have FMLA, but that doesn't really help account for the absenteeism, the presenteeism, the needs that you have on a daily basis to support the logistics, the routine changes, the insights that you need from mom. Well, they're living alone still. How do you get access to that? And Arlo is here to support that type of woman in the workplace trying to manage it all, trying to remember appointments while they're traveling for business. I mean, how do you do it? So having a system like Arlo as really your family operating system can really benefit women more than anybody else.

Yeah. And digging into kinda Life the business strategy a little bit, Life, so you guys are gonna tackle this employer space. And then is there, like, direct to consumer as well?

Yes. Which makes Arlo different. So we feel that it's really important to go to the employers to offer this as a benefit, but we didn't wanna gatekeep this to people who aren't employed or don't have an employer that's offering the benefits. So we are doing direct to consumer as well. That's a really long road from a channel perspective, but it was important to us to be able to do both in the employer and direct to consumer space.

That's awesome. Up, couple personal questions here. So what would you say is something unconventional? Cause you've worn a lot of hats in your career. Like maybe just an unconventional way that you do things, or you think that, that you really believe is, has contributed to your success?

That's an interesting question. And I don't know if it's unconventional, but I would say from a hallmark perspective, it, you know, I was told early on that I wasn't going to be able to be a physical therapist. And for someone who decided at sixth grade that I was going to be a PT and did all my volunteer work, I don't wanna be a teacher, which is what I was told to be. I want to be a PT. So, you know, and that was back then, but it really took me by surprise. I'm like, well, let me show you what I can do. You know, I took that type of attitude of don't tell me what I can't do Mandy just had that as a great opportunity in my life to say, I'm going to use that for everything I do. And I was able to be successful, and I still keep up my license because I love that profession. But that don't tell me what I can't do is real has really helped me. I've worked in orthopedics for over twenty years. It is a male dominant space. And so to be able to succeed and have the influence that I have, not only on my career, but on team members, I love to lead and love to engage teams. I think that has really helped. Lastly, I would say that many people out there say that you can't show empathy and caring as a woman leader. And I just couldn't accept that. You know, you have to have that stone face in order to be successful, but I knew that that isn't who I am, and I couldn't fake that, you know, as a different person inside and outside of work. So having that type of support for my team and for the people that I work with that was empathic based, I think has been unconventional. I

Life that. The next step in all of capitalism. Right? Is that that feminine energy of of empathy and teamwork and all of the things that's gonna move us forward. So I I love that you followed your instincts on that. And my question that I asked that's so similar is, wanna bet? You can't do that. Wanna bet? You know? I in the world of entrepreneurship, a lot of this feels like you're groping into the darkness. Like, you don't know what to do next. There's no playbook to do whatever thing that you're doing when you were the first one doing the thing. Right? So I'm curious for you or your cofounders or how how do you play this Women you feel unclear or you feel stuck on something? What is maybe a process that you personally do to get yourself clarity or unstuck?

I think it's easy to fall in that trap Mandy we are newer in our journey. So it's not like we have it all figured out when you're trying to figure out product market fit in this big space. So that's something we have to reflect on. Often we have a product roadmap that is huge. We have so much vision of what we want to accomplish, but what comes first is really when we have to go back to our mission to say, is this really supporting the mission that we're at? Will it help us scale Mandy will it make an impact for those that we're serving? So I think we can always come back and reflect on some of those, key foundational elements of why this has been started to say, how do we put this through the paces from a roadmap perspective and asking for feedback as soon as people start to use it? It's nice to be nimble. I've worked in a corporate structure for so many years where you think I have this great idea. Maybe it'll get implemented in three years because there's just so much to happen to get excited that, okay, we'll change it because somebody or some people have identified a key area of opportunity for us. I love working in that nimble environment.

I love that. I love that. Well, I feel like all of us here, you know, when you think about what I do at Minerva is to stabilize that woman 40 and up hormonally, and then you're stabilizing the aging aspect of it. Mandy's big area of really helping with financial. And if all of these things. Right? Like, if women had more experience in investing younger, especially, like, the aging journey, taking care of parents, you might like, I have flexibility now. I've spent all summer with my dad. Like, I was just telling Mandy before this, like, it has been magical. And if I was still working at my corporate headquarters, I'd just be able to see him on the weekends, and I'm never you know, you're never gonna get this time back. So that's that's awesome. Yeah. So let's dig into a little bit of, like, the mindset of a founder. Because Your talking about product market fit. You know, a big thing that we talk about in GoBundance in our Power up your business, sessions is product market fit. And, you know, when you really look at, like, your your lead products right now, like, what is your lead product that you guys are going to market with?

So we have, as I mentioned, two personas. We have the older adult that we're working to support as well as the caregiver. We believe still we're early, but we believe that that caregiver is the one that we really need to support Mandy they can invite the older adult. We anticipate that they will have the disposable income that they can be the subscriber Mandy they really set the journey for the older adult. Certainly, you can do it as an older adult independently, but right now we're going to really support the caregiver, and that's, also a lens that we're taking from the employer side also.

Okay. Sounds good. I just think, like, for anybody listening, most of us get so focused on, like, hey. I'm in the business of doing whatever, and we miss the product market fit piece. Like, we really miss, like, what problem am I solving, especially with technology. Right? Is I'm I know what problem I'm solving, and this is what it is, and you build from there. You know, we've had the great honor. Jeff Hoffman at Priceline is a dear friend of mine. And, like, the he has literally pounded it into my head. Like, he's like, we were good at hotels. Like, we were we solidly figured out they have a vacancy problem. And if they had inventory, we could buy it at a reduced cost or or whatever, and they just did it. And then they did add other things. So when you look at this product roadmap, you know, and I think this is a challenge for a lot of women. We try to do too many things, and we dilute the the product market fit. And so and and when we get on Kelly, and we get on, you know, like, pitches and other things, like, that's where people get lost because they wanna know, like, you you've got this figured out. So I'm excited to really see your product and and be able to support you on it. So, well, Mandy, there were so many things here today that just, you know, caught my attention. I think the the the number one takeaway is that we're not alone in this journey, and and we need to look at resources like you have to be able to really, you know, lean in and not have to figure it out on on our own. And then I love that whole idea of just, you know, dare me, and I'm gonna do it. So, Mandy, what about you?

You know, something that you just said, Kelly, I just I think in doing this podcast, one thing that has rhymed all the way along is when you're doing something and you feel alone, it's scarier and it's harder. And guess what, guys? No matter what you're doing in the world, you're probably not the first one to do it. So go find the resources that are gonna help you not feel alone and scared. Two things I wrote down, Michelle, that you said that I absolutely loved. Going back to your mission. When you feel you when you don't know what to do next, you make sure that you are aligned with that Your Star that you've set for yourself so that you can take a step in that direction. And I loved that you stayed true to yourself as a leader even when when you were told that you shouldn't be. I I absolutely loved that. One thing that we love to do you served us so greatly, but with all of this information and and helping, female leaders, figure out what they're gonna do with their aging parents and how to support them, we wanna support you. What is an introduction or a resource that changes the ballgame for you in what you're doing?

We would love to be able to get introductions to employers who are really looking to create that caregiving culture in the outer care space. So we know that we can make a difference. You know, there's so many things that were said here in terms of impacting the woman. You may be surprised to know that caregivers are doing, providing 26 of their income to supporting elder care. That's a big chunk of Mandy, as you know, you both know in terms of the impact that your wealth can have on not only Women, but retirement. And when people don't have those resources, they might be misguided in how they have access to information. So working with employers and especially those who recognize their women in their workplace need to be able to rise to the top caregivers. An MIT study came out recently showing that caregiving is a great foundational element for leadership. So why wipe out women because they have this extra work, let's embrace it and support those women through the employer benefits space.

I love it. I just wrote down two referrals for you that I'm gonna make after after this call. Well, Michelle, thank you so much for bringing your wisdom and energy to us on the Power Up Your Life podcast. If this resonated, share it with a friend. Make sure that you like, subscribe, give us a little bit of feedback here too. And if you are a woman looking to really power up your life, head over to Power Up Your Life Now. We've got tons of resources, information on GoBundance, and how we can help you scale your business as well. We'll see you on the next Power Up Your Life podcast. Bye bye. Thank

you. Thanks for joining us today on the Power Up Your Life podcast. If you got value from today's episode, make sure that you like and subscribe and send this episode to someone who needs to hear some wins like this. If you need to power up your business, head over to Power Up Your Life Now, where you can see all of the resources that our team has to power up your business. We'll see you on the next episode.